Anonymous

My name is Anonymous. I am a senior administration official at Whatzgonnahappen and I trying my best to make these Week 2 NFL Picks not appear like they were written by a moron without a lodestar. Who these days, other than the coach of the Buffalo Bills, doesn’t have a lodestar? That would be like…

Nike ad

We didn’t start the fire It was always burning Since the world’s been turning – Billy Joel — These Week 1 NFL Picks, having lit my Nike shoes on fire, are now standing for the Military Anthem while simultaneously pledging allegiance to the Military Flag and demanding that Jeff Sessions investigate anyone who thinks the…

Blind faith

He was taken to task by some critics who asked, Do you write the words or lyrics first? – The Michael Stanley Band — Here we go again… with blind faith on par with that of a Donald Trump supporter snorting Mexican cocaine off a Russian Bible at a Stormy Daniels show, these 2018 NFL…

Inside the museums, Infinity goes up on trial – Bob Dylan — This Super Bowl 52 Pick comes from the scene of another senseless murder, a Super Bowl party where someone has been killed for saying the words, “Dilly, Dilly” one time too many. It is happening across America. Things are worse at the violently…

I went back to my mother I said, “I’m crazy Ma, help me.” She said, “I know how it feels son, Cause it runs in the family.” – The Who — Doctor Bigmac McWhopper says that my fat, lazy NFL Conference Championship picks are in perfect physical health. First he put me through a series…

Guess who just got back today? Them wild-eyed boys that’d been away Haven’t changed, had much to say But man, I still think those cats are crazy – Thin Lizzy — According to a new explosive book, the guy who writes these Wildcard Weekend NFL Picks is a clueless unstable fool who likes an NFL…

I was dreamin’ when I wrote this Forgive me if it goes astray But when I woke up this mornin’ Coulda sworn it was judgement day – Prince — These Week 17 NFL picks have made a New Year’s resolution to begin sniffing glue again. Trying to process everything that went wrong in 2017 has…

Fight the power We’ve got to fight the powers that be – Public Enemy — These week 15 NFL Picks love the new system for the NFL draft, in which the Super Bowl champion is rewarded with the first pick in the NFL draft. It will create incentive for loser teams like the Cleveland Browns…

You got a lotta nerve To say you are my friend When I was down, you just stood there grinning – Bob Dylan — These Week 13 NFL picks, drinking strong vodka lockherups with my best friends, General Michael Flynn and Matt Lauer, can see Dr. Schadenfreude enjoying my misery as the Cleveland Browns sit…