What's Gonna Happen

Super Bowl 51 Pick From The Ministry Of Propaganda
Subscribe

Archive for December, 2008

Home of Clarence The Angel’s Just-Do-It Week 17 NFL Picks

December 24, 2008 By: BT Category: Uncategorized

“They said there’ll be snow at Christmas; They said there’ll be peace on Earth
Hallelujah Noel be it Heaven or Hell; The Christmas you get you deserve”

– Emerson, Lake & Palmer

After Clarence the Angel saw me wearing a Cleveland Browns hat, he brought me rope and then he was gone and I heard a bell ring. There was a note: “Hurry, the Browns play the Steelers this week.”

There is war on Earth and the economy quivers while Charles Ponzi is the 2008 American businessperson of the year, plus the Browns play the Steelers this week. But it’s a wonderful life, isn’t it Clarence? Clarence?

The Browns haven’t scored an offensive touchdown since Ronald Reagan was president, and the Browns play the Steelers this week. Rudolph with your nose so bright, have you been drinking?

See FREECHEEZEBURGERZ for OBAMA AGREES TO MANAGE NY YANKEES

Most Browns fans have become so pathetic that they are actually dreaming of hiring an ex-Steelers coach, and yet I can almost understand because the Browns play the Steelers this week. So anyway, up on the rooftop – is that a new coach?

The last time the Browns beat the Steelers was when Lyndon Johnson was president, and the Browns play the Steelers this week.

A low-intelligence lunatic could figure out that the Browns have no realistic chance when the team plays the Steelers this week. Luckily, I am less intelligent and crazier than that, so I believe that this will be a wonderful weekend for the Browns because it’s a wonderful life for a Browns fan. Clarence, please tell the people that’s whatzgonnahappen.

PATRIOTS AT BILLS – “Belichick” is the feel-odd holiday movie of the year – a football season written as a combination of “Hamlet” and “The Prince.” Shakespeare and Machiavelli, in the same fantasy football league, collaborated on this flick after the success of their last movie, “Favre.” Patriots 27, Bills 21
Continue reading “Home of Clarence The Angel’s Just-Do-It Week 17 NFL Picks” »

Shoe-Throwing Week 16 NFL Picks

December 16, 2008 By: admin Category: Uncategorized

“Life’s the same except for my shoes”
– The Cars

Did you see the press conference when I stood up and threw a shoe at Browns coach Romeo Crennel? He dodged it as if he’s been dodging thrown shoes his whole life. No big deal.

The truth is, I am a Romeo supporter. I was aiming at Browns GM Phil Savage. That’s why I am a Romeo supporter. Phil drafted me as a quarterback, but Romeo was smart enough not to play me. Instead, he put me in charge of asking the difficult questions.

As soon as I was finished in Cleveland, I shuffled off to Buffalo, where I heaved some snow boots at Bills coach Dick Jauron and then I flew out to Oakland to join the mob throwing shoes at Al Davis.

The next thing I knew, I was so popular that I had my own shoe deal.

————————

See FREECHEEZEBURGERZ.COM FOR  Scott Boras Will Get You A Multi-Year Deal!

See my column on theobr.com FOR Complaints About The Cleveland Browns Bandwagon

—————————

The problem, of course, is that no one can afford shoes anymore.

Many have resorted to throwing toenail clippings but I say that this is not the kind of country that I want to live in – where patriotic shoe throwing has been somehow transformed into icky toenail tossing.

Every press conference I go to these days, I try to ask questions. But it is difficult with so many out-of-work newspaper reporters loudly clipping their toenails in the hope of being called on to ask a question.

Still, I go because I am just like Tom Joad. I’ll be around in the dark; I’ll be everywhere, waiting with shoes and questions. Wherever there’s a team stinking, I’ll be there with shoes and questions. Wherever a coach has a team going backwards, I’ll be there with shoes and questions. I’ll be there in a way that’s stops a wide receiver from dropping another damn football – yes, I’ll be there with shoes and questions. If a referee can’t see or read the rules, I’ll be there with shoes and questions. Wherever there’s failure and anger, I’ll be there. Yeah, that’s whatzgonnahappen.

COLTS AT JAGUARS – Peyton is having a playground season because just like a playground game, the Colts spot the Jaguars 14 until the fourth when Peyton tosses four touchdowns. Colts 28, Jaguars 14

RAVENS AT COWBOYS – Ray Lewis overdoses on some bad vitriol that he got from Terrell Owens. Meanwhile the Cowboys are spent after last week plus if they are not, Wade Philips will de-motivate them as only he can. Ravens 21, Cowboys 13

Continue reading “Shoe-Throwing Week 16 NFL Picks” »

The Blagojevich Auction of WEEK 15 NFL Picks, 2008

December 13, 2008 By: admin Category: Uncategorized

“Roxanne, you don’t have to put on that red light”

– THE POLICE

Governor Rod Blagojevich: Hey Fan Number 5, do you have a favorite NFL team? Want me to pick them to win?

Auctioneer Rod Blagojevich: I’ll picktheBears ifyouwantmetopicktheBears so do I hear $50,000? No? Okay, I’ll picktheSaints ifyouwantmetopicktheSaints so do I hear $50,000? No? Well then bleep you!

Governor Blagojevich: Look people. Let me explain something here. This is an auction, and this is democracy in Illinois. You don’t have a choice.

Governor: You bid lots of money and give it to me and then whoever gives me the most money gets to see me pick your team to win. Did you hear me, Fan Number 5? Think of this as a United States Senate seat for football fans because my opinion is the only one that counts.

Governor: Please stand over here while I shake you down. No, it’s not as much fun as it sounds but in the end I profit. A governor has to get what he can get when the getting is good and this is a damn good getting season. So as I was saying…

Auctioneer Blagojevich: Iwanna moveto MondayNightFootball featuring theClevelandBrownsversusthePhiladelphiaEagles AND Iwannagetabid ofbigbucks. Big, big bucks!

Auctioneer: DoIhearabid forthe Browns towinthegame? Thisishighpriority sopleasesomeone-anyone paymetopicktheBrownstowin.

Governor: Listen. You have to understand the power I have. I am writing this column because the previous writer couldn’t actually get the Browns to win, so I had him fired. But if you can get me enough money, I can make them win. I’ll buy the team, yeah, that’s whatzgonnahappen.

Continue reading “The Blagojevich Auction of WEEK 15 NFL Picks, 2008” »