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Archive for July, 2010

2010 NFL Season Predictions Tea Party

July 23, 2010 By: BT Category: 2010 Season

He was taken to task by some critics who asked
Do you write the words or lyrics first?

– The Michael Stanley Band

Welcome to my 2010 NFL predictions tea party. Want some beer or coffee?

I decided to throw this 2010 NFL predictions tea party, paid for with Obama stimulus money, because I want America restored to how things were in the 1950s when the Cleveland Browns were the best team in the NFL.

That’s what these tea parties are all about, right? That, and beer. We’re proudly not elite and we are upset with how things have been in the elitist Manning-driven NFL. We need to take our country back from the elites and the Saints! I am not an elite or a saint, and neither is my favorite football team or any of its players.

I am just a regular guy with $700 billion plus change in my pocket. It’s a minor detail but one night in September, 2008, Ben Bernake was bored and called me so I told him to bet $700 billion on the Cleveland Browns winning the Super Bowl. Yes, I am Ben Bernake’s bookie.

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That’s when President George W. Bush bailed me out with $700 billion in small bills. So now that it is in the history books, I can finally graciously explain that I blackmailed George and he had no choice but to cooperate.

I have pictures of Bush and Osama Bin Laden at a Browns Backers bar in Kabul – both of them wearing the colors and bitching about Tim Couch. It was the last chance at diplomacy that no one knew about. I have pictures because I happened to be in the same bar that night. Yes, I am a regular guy with $700 billion who goes to bars and sees world leaders cheering for the Cleveland Browns. Like it doesn’t happen to you after a couple shots of tequila. Please!

A few months later, I convinced the newly elected and totally gullible President Barack Obama to give me thousands of dollars more in something he called cash for clunkers. He said he had read this website and eloquently called it “definitely a clunker.” He got the facts right, but that’s about it.

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