As heads is tails
Just call me Lucifer
‘Cause I’m in need of some restraint
– The Rolling Stones
These week 17 NFL picks resolve to call for the voluntary execution of Tucker Carlson.
Since the bow-tied alleged nimrod Tucker Carlson made clear that he thinks Michael Vick should have been executed, these week 17 NFL picks think Tucker Carlson should consider getting executed for thinking that, or, in fact, anything. Can I get a witness?
Yes, it is a circle and I understand. But if you want these week 17 NFL picks executed, you’re going to have to get in that line to the right. This column’s favorite all-time athlete is the XFL star who went by the name, “He Hate Me.”
So bring it charlatan, bow-tied Tucker Carlson. There, I just gave away a line from a future hip-hop gangsta rap hit. That’s gold, baby!
But I must digress from my innocent execution number-one-hit-with-a-bullet fantasies, because I now realize that every year at this time we sadly think about the people who have died instead of wishfully thinking about the people who could have been executed.
Well, except for Tucker Carlson and this column. Every week for years in this column, Ray Lewis has died. It’s gotten to the point where ideas are solicited on how to kill him. This makes this column in tune with Tucker Carlson completely. There is no way to pretend otherwise.
Thus, this is an open invitation to Tucker Carlson to get together and plot who should else should be executed. Unless, that is, he is offended by the dream of him volunteering just to show whatzgonnahappen. Continue reading “Executing Tucker Carlson Week 17 NFL Picks” »