I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door and I must have it painted black
Maybe then I’ll fade away and not have to face the facts
It’s not easy facing up when your whole world is black
– Rolling Stones
Hi, I am Senator Ted Cruz and I believe the Cleveland Browns should trade Buster Skrine to Philadelphia so he can be Philly Buster. Let me keep talking.
I am talking because I believe, like all real Americans, that the Cleveland Browns should be allowed to play in the Super Bowl without having to win any more games. My request is perfectly reasonable in my opinion. Other opinions, to me, are weird.
I have a really important opinion. Just ask me. I’m glad you asked. I know the odds of my succeeding are worse than, say, the Jacksonville Jaguars against the Denver Broncos. Go on, call me the Jacksonville Jaguars of the United States Senate. So what? Harry Reid still has to play me. I am on the schedule.
So when I talk about nonsense, I can make it seem like sense. I just keep talking and once you are numb enough to get hypnotized, you’ll be as angry as me. Yet I appear to be the most reasonable man on Earth. Just ask me.
Look, I never get my way. So I’ve finally decided to do this. I don’t care if I shut down the NFL.
Oh, you do? I can shut down the government, but not the NFL. Wow, you people are real Americans.
At this point, I don’t care whatzgonnahappen. Continue reading “Week 4 NFL Picks Philly Buster From Ted Cruz” »