Every breath you take Every move you make – The Police — Cleveland Browns fan Angela Merkel is now making her Week 9 NFL Picks. We at the NSA hear everything the German Chancellor says. Do you want to know what she thinks about Brandon Weeden? Let us, your weirdly anonymous government overseer – think…


Oh a storm is threatening my very life today If I don’t get some shelter Oh yeah, I’m gonna fade away – The Rolling Stones — Welcome to Week NFL 8 picks at the Obamacare website, where nothing works. For instance, these are hockey scores. If you have a pre-existing condition such as cheering for…


Now you know how to be dumb Are you ready to take your place In the modern museum of mistakes? – Elvis Costello — Hey, John Boehner of Ohio here with your week 6 NFL picks, and saying it’s time for the Cleveland Browns to win the Super Bowl or I will break the world’s…


It’s the end of the world as we know it And I feel fine – R.E.M. — The Cleveland Browns are in first place, so I am afraid of the Apocalypse. I called the government, but they are afraid too. They have shut down. Also, the Cleveland Indians are in the playoffs. I did not…