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2014 NFL Season Picks; Globally-Warmed For Accuracy

June 08, 2014 By: BT Category: 2014 Season

He was taken to task by some critics who asked, Do you write the words or lyrics first?
– The Michael Stanley Band

These 2014 NFL Season Picks are in denial about the 2013 NFL standings, which I burned in dirty coal that had been soaked in radioactive oil just to prove that I don’t believe in any of your stupid facts.

The highly suspect 2013 NFL standings used hand-picked data, which is the the same type of data that scientists who talk of global warming use. It’s quite alarming. I don’t believe in global warming, Why would I believe the 2013 NFL standings?

smokestackThat’s right, I laugh at your so-called 2013 final NFL standings. I understand biased facts when I see them. While these are the best 2014 NFL predictions anywhere, they are not grounded in any facts. Facts schmacts, I say.

As I say it, I am wearing 10-cent blinders that I purchased for a dollar at a Flying J Truckstop somewhere near Pittsburgh, and I have hired a professional consultant to hit me repeatedly on my forehead with a rusty hammer. Ouch! This is the Google-search recommended method to clearly see the future of the 2014 NFL season by ignoring the 2013 NFL season as a reference point. Ouch! Google is always right. Unlike facts. Or science.afc north standings 2013

Scientists know as much about science as the 2013 NFL standings know about quality football. Scientists don’t know anything. Everyone knows that. And NFL standings? Please! Facts aren’t factual if you don’t want them to be.

These particular 2014 NFL predictions do not start out wrapped in any quote-unquote facts. It is a fact that the 2013 NFL standings are a complete fabrication, and I can prove it. Last year, the Cleveland Browns were the best team in the NFL. You can look it up. I wrote about it here all of last year.

brownselfguitarYet the NFL standings say the Browns only won 4 games while losing 12. And I say that anyone can choose specific facts and make them mean anything they want. The way the NFL standings were designed last year were clearly biased against the Browns.

The NFL standings just picked and chose the information they wanted to use – like wins and losses – and then tried to prove a point by stacking the argument with this hand-picked data. This is simply impossible to trust.

I say the 2013 NFL standings are more theory than fact. There’s no consensus that the 2013 NFL standings are factual. I don’t believe them so, presto, no consensus.

And If there is debate, well who really knows what to believe? I mean, there’s so many people out there just making up crap. It’s pathetic.

I cannot argue with one thing. I do see climate change coming in the NFL. I suggest that the 2014 NFL standings will much better understand and be able to reach a reasonable conjohnny manziel money signsensus that the Cleveland Browns, led by the comic book icon named Johnny Football, are about to set the NFL on fire and, well, as he texted me, “wreck this league.”

These are all facts told to me by the homeless guy who now makes decisions for the Cleveland Browns. The debate is over. Climate change in the NFL is here to stay, so says this word-processed analysis – and this is clearly a sentence that uses the words “process” and “analysis”, so you know this is essentially indisputable science. There is now absolute consensus that NFL climate change is upon us, and if you argue with me it is clear that you don’t even care about future of the world, you selfish bastard.

Still, you can’t deny that this is whatzgonnahappen. Continue reading “2014 NFL Season Picks; Globally-Warmed For Accuracy” »