I saw a butterfly in hell today
Will I die or go to jail today
– Lil Wayne
These week 13 NFL Picks put on a this cool blue uniform to give thanks for not being charged by a grand jury for picking the Cleveland Browns to win the Super Bowl for each of the last 15 years.
But the grand jury in its wisdom decided that I picked the Browns to win all those Super Bowls in self defense. I said that I had no choice, and they chose to believe me because I have a cool blue uniform. I couldn’t believe it. I told them that each time I fired off a Super Bowl prediction, I felt that my life was in danger because the season was charging at me.
So you know what I did this year, don’t you? I picked the Cleveland Browns to win the Super Bowl again because, screw it, I can do whatever I want. Sure, there are witnesses who saw me pick the Browns all those other years. So?
I did it again because I claim I was scared when I did it. The season was charging at me like a demon.
Did you see how I used the words “charging at me” with such effect? I’ve learned if you use those words and you wear a cool blue uniform, you can do whatever you want.
But you’ve got to wear a cool blue uniform, which is about the same as wearing a blue Dallas Cowboys uniform in the 1990s and hanging out with Michael Irvin, or a blue New York Giants uniform in the 1980s and hanging out with Lawrence Taylor. With a blue uniform anything goes.
However, if you don’t wear a cool blue uniform, you have to obey the law and even some made-up ones by people wearing cool blue uniforms. If you do wear a cool blue uniform, you can do whatever you want and no one cares whatzgonnahappen. Continue reading “Week 13 NFL Picks Thankful In A Cool Blue Uniform Not To Be Indicted” »