In the garden I was playing the tart I kissed your lips and broke your heart You, you were acting like it was the end of the world – U2 — These Week 12 NFL Picks just settled a $25 million fraud case against me. I have advised betting on the Cleveland Browns to win…

Oh, a storm is threatening My very life today If I don’t get some shelter Oh yeah, I’m gonna fade away – The Rolling Stones — These Week 10 NFL Picks voted for Donald J. Trump because the Cleveland Browns have not won a game all year. You should have known how desperate we are…

And you tell me Over and over and over again my friend That you don’t believe We’re on the eve of destruction – Barry McGuire — These Week 9 NFL Picks would like to congratulate the one-term president that America is about to elect and then most likely impeach. You may as well be the…

You can’t hide your lyin’ eyes And your smile is a thin disguise I thought by now you’d realize There ain’t no way to hide your lyin’ eyes – The Eagles — Boo! This Halloween, we’ve gone nuclear. These Week 8 NFL picks are dressed as an October surprise. No, not a Cleveland Browns win….

Sunday papers don’t ask no questions Sunday papers don’t get no lies Sunday papers don’t raise objections Sunday papers ain’t got no eyes – Joe Jackson — As a card-carrying member of the lamestream media, these week 7 NFL Picks, know exactly how the media rigs everything using facts. For instance, according to the lamestream…

Don’t you want me? You know I don’t believe you When you say you don’t need me – The Human League — In this locker room, when I brag about my week 6 NFL Picks, I am just trying to impress my new campaign manager, Bill Cosby. Bill Cosby and I were talking in the locker…

Mental wounds not healing Who and what’s to blame I’m goin’ off the rails on a crazy train – Ozzy Osbourne — These week 4 NFL picks went to a tremendous watch party at the Trump Dive Bar on Liar Street in the sketchy fun part of downtown Bullshitville, where I was served a huge…

Lie to me And tell me everything is all right – Johnny Lang — These Week 3 NFL Picks declare that the Cleveland Browns, much like myself, were born in hell, period. I am not going to answer any questions about my previous 17 years spreading the rumor that the Cleveland Browns were an NFL…